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Lyrics (from the SweetJuice cd)
Lyrics (from the In The Garden cd)
Brand New
©1999 words & music by Kris Deelane
It is my soul that is empty
I long to be taken somewhere
And shown something better
I feel so dirty
I want to wash him off me
And come back to you,
Brand new and shiny
I want to see your van
I want to climb in
And never ever leave again
{chorus
Cause you're exactly like me
But malicious and mean
And you don't understand
Your mortality
I want you to take back
The lame things you did
I want you to come back
And start again
chorus}
I failed when tested
I'm so wretched
I want this pulse to end
I want to turn to sand
And never ever weep again
{chorus}
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Corroded Angels
©1999 words & music by Kris Deelane
{chorus
I wanted to walk in your light
You want to keep me in your dark
Your keep telling me I'm stupid
But I think I'm smart
I'm trying to loosen my grip
I'm prying each finger off you
Corroded angels and the bad things we do
chorus}
You're supposed to be my best friend
Now I'm so unsatisfied
Now we got nothing but defenses
And we got nothing left to hide
People suffer, so I suffer
If it's not one boy it's another
Too bad you can't see how great you could be
{chorus}
In your eyes
I can't hear
Without heels over head over you my dear
And the rush of the thought
I might see you again
Me and the comic champion of depression
{chorus}
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Rapture
©1999 words & music by Kris Deelane
I'm bored of fear and anxiety
I'm bored of self-doubt and lonliness
I'm bored, I'm bored of boredom
I'm running wild through the moonlight
{chorus
Give me rapture, I want rapture
chorus}
I'm bored of lame excuses
I'm bored of empty promises
I'm bored of taking advantage
I'm tired of watching this cruelty
{chorus}
You can't make me unhappy
You can't make me act poorly
You can't make me say I don't love you anymore
I'll yell it from the highest mountain
I've finished my wishing and dreaming
I'm done grieving and suffering
I'm through with getting nowhere
Watch me run screaming through the moonlight
{chorus}
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Ugly Kid Joe
©1999 words & music by Adam East
Ugly kid Joe
Everywhere you go
No one wants to know
Ugly kid Joe
So much to say
Keep it inside
Put your mirror away
Come along for a ride
Try to forget
Try not to care
Sad people laugh
Blind people stare
It's a lonely world for an ugly kid, Joe
When you've got no one to see you home
You'll never be carefree, and you'll never get far
If you can't get past your ugly kid scars
Ugly kid Joe
Everywhere you go
No one wants to know
Ugly kid Joe
So much to say
Keep it inside
Put your mirror away
Come along for a ride
It's a lonely road, baby this I know
When you've got no one to see you home.
But you could be carefree, baby you could go far
If you could get past your ugly kid scars
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I Hate Myself
©1999 words & music by Kris Deelane
He saw me
He saw me
He saw I was ugly
He lied and said he loved me
Then he ran back to pretty
{chorus
I hate myself...
chorus}
I asked for peace and quiet
You brought violence and strife
You hollered vile insults
in the middle of the night
I hate myself. I hate myself
You hate yourself. You hate yourself.
{chorus}
Not as far as the eye can see
Not as far as the ear can hear
Ain't nobody coming that cares
To take me out of here
Well I don't know and I can't see
Whether it's worth it being happy
Just to go throught the sadness of watching it leave
And crying to the sound of your memories
That's ok, you're not dead yet
Me myself I'm in my prime
Yeah, I could get it up for you
Every single time
Not as far as the eye can see
He saw me
He saw me
He saw I was ugly
He lied and said he loved me
Then he ran back to pretty
{chorus}
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Daddy History and The Ma
©1999 words & music by Kris Deelane
I want to grow up and be a great man
Make my daddy proud
Show him I can take it like a man
Cock in hand and head in cloud
So I went to find what I get to keep
But she told me "Nothing.
Your thoughts, your face, your heartbeat,
all borrowed from me"
She said,
"You waste your time with laws and guns.
What are you trying to save yourself from?
Wake up little wild beast
I made you
temporary"
Then I turned pale when she took my hand
Saw my bones turn to sand
She asked, "How will you hold me?
Fruit don't own the tree"
She said,
"Your Daddy speaks with a forked, black tongue
dividing truth and hiding The Big One.
I built this home but he feels the need
to prove himself by breaking everything"
I want to grow up and be a good son
The power of the position
The man to get the job done
The man so you would listen
Listen
Top
In This Together
©1999 words & music by Adam East
Open up wide, son. You may have a lot to learn.
You, too, may be someone on the road to no return.
Listen closely, she said.
Cause we're in this together, and soon I'll be dead.
You can have a photograph. You can have a time for change
We could have a ceremony with the vows that we've exchanged
Now we're like husband and wife
and we're in this together for the rest of our lives.
But I'll take on the world, take on the world
Words are only words. Trust feeling beyond anything
Life is for the birds, now I'm trading in my wings
Someday we'll meet again.
'Cause we're in this together
You were always my friend, you're always my friend.
But I'll take on the world, take on the world.
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The Apple
©1999 words & music by Kris Deelane
Our conversations fit like splintered glass upon our lips
I leave with tiny rainbows stuck in my fingertips
I'm so dazzled in your sunlight, I feel no pain
And I don't mind the broken glass when all the colors fade
Like sugar in my mouth, I carry you with me
It's you who makes my words sweet, and my smile shine with glee
But something unspoken came to me
When I picked two apples, and you took three
Now I miss him by candlelight
Miss him on my dope and wine
I sing him in every key
He makes my strength so weak
I'm a little tambourine. I'm a little drum
You knew me in my glory, but I have come undone
You can call me crazy, but I like it to be
My face in his head when he's making love to me
So I miss him by candlelight...
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Out of Your Shell
©1999 words & music by Adam East
When will you come out of your shell?
You've been locked away for so long so well
You're only fooling yourself, brother
You're only fooling yourself.
I've been waiting half of my life
for just the right time to say what's on my mind.
I think it's here and my tongue gets tied up.
I think it's here, and it's gone.
I don't know why I've been waiting,
I've been waiting for so long
for nothing at all.
Why can't I be silent and strong,
Like back in the times of when we were very young?
Those wasted days are all gone, brother
So much I need to get done
And I know that I've been waiting,
I've been waiting for so long
for nothing at all.
I keep thinking I'll be denied,
or I might end up unsatisfied
And then you hold me in your arms
and say that you want me.
Thought I'd cut out all my suffering.
You never know what tomorrow brings
and I don't want to jump into anything
that could turn and haunt me.
Still I know that I've been waiting,
I've been waiting for so long
for nothing at all.
Why are you hiding? What are you running from?
Always abiding, never the pushing one.
How are you gonna get all your living done
When you won't open up to anyone?
Your turn is over, but the game's only begun
Where is the magic that will break this spell?
When will you come out of your shell?
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Lyrics to the cd In The Garden
Falling Stars
©1993 words & music by Kris Deelane and Adam East
You can't imagine the way we live
You have no idea how I am
No idea how I feel. I'm not gonna sit here and
listen to you tell me what you think is real
You might cause a great pain
To some soft, white, unprotected place
That you have saved, then pierced and blackened
Jading an innocent's view of the world
Burning down with the lie of a thousand falling stars
I'm hoping you will catch me, but I can't see where you are
They had lost their families and friends
You wouldn't listen to their pleas
They begged you for their loves
But you told them to sit down, you told them to shut up
Burning down with the lie of a thousand falling stars
I'm hoping you will catch me, but I can't see where you are
Have you never seen the purple mountains' majesty?
Has your enchanted world known one single desperate need?
If it were safe to disagree with you I would.
Instead I'll just treat you like my drug-freaked friends
With an open smile and a wary eye
'Cause greed is your drug and you're high as a kite
Burning down with the lie of a thousand falling stars
I'm hoping you will catch me, but I can't see where you are
Burning down, the points of a thousand falling stars
I'm hoping you will catch them, but I can't see where you are
Top
Hard To Forget
©1993 words by Adam East and Kris Deelane
music by Adam East
Stayed up all night, but we never did see the northern lights
Saw the lightning strike and we followed the trail of a satellite
On a night like this lips linger with one whispered kiss
'til the sky starts to fall and in no time at all
the sun's rising again where it set
And somehow you knew it would be hard to forget
And I was under your spell, you took me down to the wishing well
Every story you'd tell was a ride on a horse or a carrousel
It was just for an hour, but time was forgotten and lost its power
You know, I never did say, but I felt that that day
was the first time our souls ever met
And somehow I knew it would be hard to forget
There were silver strings of iron
Nights of constant fire
And every early morning sun would paint a new day
For you and me only, and no one could take it away
It was a time to be healed, the wounds were too fresh then to be concealed
And as you were revealed a wildfire spread through and open field
And I rose from the dead seeing circles of silver around your head
Stole the bow from your grip and a kiss from your lips
in a moment I'll never regret
And somehow I knew it would be hard to forget
There were silver strings of iron
Nights of constant fire
And as the early morning sky would greet the new day
The changes would come, sweep the stillness of nighttime away
Stayed up all night but we never did see the storm subside
We took up our arms when every other time they were open wide
I wondered before how much of our love would survive the war
Love's history's always the casualty
Every shadow is your silhouette
Somehow I knew you'd be hard to forget
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What is in Your Mind
©1993 words by Kris Deelane
music by Kris Deelane and Adam East
Oh, little Sue do your parents love you?
Do they shelter you from fear? Do they share your dreams?
And do they know why you cry?
Little Sue, are you afraid to tell me why?
You cannot control what's in their hearts
Can't defend yourself from what is on their minds
You ain't got no song to sing when you need to talk to God
No spirit to call upon
Tammi knows she's been alone, when she's been with you
She's not pretending anymore
You just threw her away, opened and kicked her out the door
Then you looked out from your room alone
And you called out for your dog
But baby, she ain't comin' home no more
She cannot control what's in his heart
Can't defend herself from what is on his mind
She ain't got no song to sing when she needs to talk to God
No spirit to call upon
And I just can't reach high enough to get myself away from you
Oh clouds and sun come down to let me touch you
For I cannot rise to meet you
And you look so peaceful
Please take me away
They ask me; "Who is gonna help me with this endless sorrow?
And who is gonna love me through this timeless tomorrow?
And who is gonna leave me when the time is right for him
after open doors and windows have received the rain and wind?"
They cannot contol what's in your heart
Can't defend themselves from what is on your mind
They ain't got no song to sing when they need to talk to God
No spirit to call upon
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The Coming Of St. Peter
©1993 words & music by Adam East
Come all ye down to the river
By the will of the gods he's delivered
So swiftly across the water
The coming of St. Peter
Hurry now, bring the children
Watch all the love that lies within them
disappear into the fire
The coming of St. Peter
She'll hit the shore and watch it shatter
The tribes and treaties torn to tatters
Convince herself it doesn't matter
The coming of St. Peter
Who is the sinner, and who's to be saved?
Will the souls of those forgotten be remembered on that day?
Tell me now, St. Peter, is there justice for the brave?
What good is justice anyway?
They'll come to terms and come to power
And from a fort will come a tower
To watch you hour after hour
The coming of St. Peter
So bathe in the black and whitewash
Fight every battle until you have lost
Hang down your head and follow your leader
The coming of St. Peter
Hurry down to the river
By the will of the gods he's delivered
Oh so swiftly across the water
The coming of St. Peter
Top
In The Garden
©1993 words & music by Kris Deelane
Take a walk through this world with me, Father
Show me the places touched with grace and I'll walk inside
To the places that show me you
What was your vision, Father?
What was your dream? Did it shatter or lead?
Were you frightened as I am? And did you follow it through?
In the mirror I'm growing older
The years sinking into my skin
You're before me. Looking in your eyes I'm looking within
And we can't stop the feelings from passing through
Would you like to hear a story, Father?
There's gotta be a way to improve on today without losing ourselves
There's an answer for you
Eve and her lover walked together in the garden
Laughing and singing and crying 'cause they were human
Eve and her lover danced together in the garden
Dancing and singing and crying just like me and you
And he cried,
"If you only wouldn't leave me, aren't you my saviour?
Or am I a slave? God, there's blood in my hair, blood on my tongue."
And she laughed,
"Wake up, love, you're dreaming, it's only a vision."
Wake up love
In the mirror I'm growing older
The years sinking into my skin
You're before me. Looking in your eyes I'm looking within
And we can't stop the feelings from passing through
Take a walk through this world with me, Father
Show me the places touched with grace and I'll walk inside
To the places that show me you
What was your vision, Father?
What was your dream? Did it shatter or lead?
Were you frightened as I am? And did you follow it through?
Eve and her lover walked together in the garden
Laughing and singing and crying 'cause they were human
Eve and her lover danced together in the garden
Dancing and singing and crying just like me and you
In the mirror I'm growing older
The years sinking into my skin
You're before me. Looking in your eyes I'm looking within
And we can't stop the feelings from passing through
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Where Have I Heard That Before?
©1993 words & music by Adam East
I took a long walk on a wet night
Where every footstep has a life of its own
I watched the streetlights 'til they burned my eyes
I felt my heartbeat and its mechanical drone
I saw the people at the station
Sleeping on the sidewalk in a cardboard box home
I heard the screaming. I heard the sirens
I had to struggle to remember ever being alone
And then the night was turning to morning
I was a vampire and I had to get away
My feet were pounding, my souls were burning
My eyes were fading with the light of the day
I saw the preacher on the TV
Talkin' 'bout redemption. I just got bored.
I heard the preacher in the shadows
Sayin' he's waiting on the sidelines until faith has been restored
Where have I heard that before?
I hear it every night as I lay sleeping
I read it in the books and magazines
I see it in the eyes and still I don't know what it means
I don't know what it means
Somehow I felt like I'm being cheated
To give up everything I had for only this in return
My only purpose could be defeated
I'd still be freezing on the corner with my money to burn
Where's the compassion? What to believe in?
Where are all the saints and angels when you need to be strong?
They're out there somewhere but you never see them
Because they're standing in the shadows until something goes wrong
Where have I heard that before?
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Open Your Arms
©1993 words & music by Adam East
I ran faster, I ran farther
I ran out on the open water
and standing there I said a prayer,
"Come save me."
Deep blue oceans, city skylines
Changing backdrops while I rehearsed my lines
to myself, and no one else
could play me
I found happiness, I found sorrow
I found hope for a new tomorrow
that never came. Am I to blame?
Please take me
Up to Paradise, home to Eden
Though my soul's been tried and beaten
Like my heart - Torn apart
but still worthy
In the chill of this winter wind
How I long for spring again
Open your arms and I'll come in
Twenty years in the bitter cold
Twenty years all alone
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
I ran faster, and I ran farther
I ran out on the open water
and standing there I said a prayer,
"Come save me."
I found happiness, I found sorrow
I found hope for a new tomorrow
that never came. Am I to blame?
Please take me.
In the chill of this winter wind
How I long for spring again.
Open your arms and I'll come in.
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A Sort Of Goodbye
©1993 words & music by Adam East
I stood on top of the hill
and felt the earth move right under my feet
I kicked the dirt from my heel
and watched as it flew down into the street
Without any words to the black cloud of birds
that smothered the sun in the sky
I waved a sort of goodbye and turned to be gone
and just let it lie
I watched a beautiful girl
get into a car with a couple of men
She looked mysteriously like someone I knew
but I don't know from when
And I would be lying if I didn't say
that I wanted to be somewhere else
But things kinda catch up with you and there's nowhere to go
to hide from yourself
I looked through every old drawer
and I found all my things from when I was a boy
I hoped to find something more
like maybe some wings that I once used to fly
I tried to recall how it felt to be small
to crawl under beds for to hide
I guess my only mistake was to let myself ache
for the pain of a child
I watched the lives of my peers
some came to an end too soon to be fair
And some who gave into fear again and again,
now just sit and stare
I tried to believe they could have been me
but that's something I never could buy
To survive the wrath of this age was too simple a task
to romanticize
I saw one night in a dream
the way it will be at the end of the show
I guess I wasn't surprised
to find that we don't have much farther to go
The little green ball just slowly turned brown
The air it was choked and the oceans did drown
And for want of ten righteous men they started again
from where they began
I stood on top of the hill
and felt the earth move right under my feet
I kicked the dirt from my heel
and watched as it flew down into the street
Wishing the best for the people I left
I gave myself up to the skies
There, scared half to death I took a deep breath
And I opened my eyes
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Avalanche
©1993 words & music by Adam East
This time 'round, my friend, only you can decide
All your books and magazines won't make it right
You're searching for excuses to protect you
from the danger you expect to find
If you could only once make up your mind
The skeletons you hide are all forgotten now
No one really cared about them anyhow
But the lines upon your face will never fade
When all the questions you evade in vain
Telegraph your punches and your pain
Sharpen your senses
Courage will come and it will go
You could be buried under sixty feet of snow
Burning your bridges
Is better than living out your lies
You know that I still can see the fire in your eyes
Cast aside the demons that are haunting you
Consider now the reasons they are wanting you
Your fearful nights and carbon-copy days
will then be gone and you will feel the heat
The future's burning coals beneath your feet
All of your fears have tied your years around you
Be careful they don't drown you
You can only turn away so many times
You can only feed yourself so many lines
I wouldn't be surprised to see you falling from disgrace now
after all you said you do
It's easier to watch your plans fall through
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Lullaby
©1993 words & music by Kris Deelane
Dear Mom,
How come He runs?
Dear Mom,
Where has he gone?
Is it me?
The world is so big
There's so much to see
And these hurts will heal
The world is so big
I'm willing to go
But there's so much to know
Dear Mom,
Don't cry
The world is so big
And you're growing old
And this pain will go
But when I'm alone
I know it won't
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